Legacy #1: Taking Care of Parents – A Tribute to George F.

Today is Easter. 

This should be a day of joy so I think it’s a good day to start my “Legacy Series”. I had been thinking about writing this for the past few weeks but I could not find the time because of my heavy schedules. I intend my “Legacy Series” to be a short story of friends and how they touched my life or what lesson I have learned from them. This being the first, I think I will call it Legacy #1: Taking Care of Parents – A Tribute to George F.

I’m sure I will miss important details here and there but that’s because I failed to make notes on everything, relying only on my recollection of our conversations in the 4 meetings we’ve had in the last 2 years. My friend George T. Fernandez left the Philippines for USA as a young professional in 1983. He lived there for around 27 years although he would infrequently visit the country of his birth from time to time.

I did not see him from the time he left the country until we got reconnected about 2 years ago through Facebook. On my birthday in February of 2010 he took a vacation. Meeting him for the first time in 25 years was quite a blast. 

We traveled Luzon from north to south. We talked for hours on end, mostly about life and its twists and turns. Before the year was over, in December, George came back a second time, bringing his 87-year old mom to settle her back to their Project 4, Quezon City residence.

The following year, 2011 George made 2 travels to the Philippines. In May, he brought his kid KJ, a college student whom I taught how to scuba dive. In October, he came to visit his mom and also made arrangements to refurbish their original residence at Project 4.

A long time ago, George’s parents migrated to the USA where they both worked. Later, 3 of their kids, including the youngest, George, joined them there. Before passing away in 1997, his dad, an engineer, intimated to George his desire of a burial in the Philippines. But when the end came, it was all too sudden.

His dad had expired when George arrived at the hospital. Still, to comply with a dad’s final wish was the burning desire that consumed his focus and energy. And so it happened that a loving son made a father proud. George’s dad’s remains were laid to rest in his native soil.

George’s nephew and niece help in the care of his mom. I think it somehow relieved his worry that if he hadn’t taken his mom home, at some point in time she may land in a care home for the elderly in the US. Although her mom shows signs of impairment of short memory, she is still smart and lean, perhaps owing to long time profession of being a teacher.

What struck me about George’s life journey is his concern for his parents. My mom and dad passed away within a year of each other, in 2010 and 2011, respectively. I know too well the burden that bears upon a bereaved family and how difficult it is to attend to the thousand and one details that demand your attention. 

And yet my friend George traveled 12,000 kilometers, first to bring home the remains of his dad, and next, to assist his aging mom settle down back in her country of origin. And he will continue, as he has done so 4 times in the last 2 years.

Filipinos are gifted with a strong sense of filial affection and family ties. I know a few people who took exceptional care of their parents. One of them is my sister, Bonit, who went a fantastically extraordinary mile to take care of our mom and dad. 

I believe that people like them are blessed with a cloak of invincibility that exempts them from the normal travails of life. To George, you made this friend proud. Cheers.